No sweet talk this time

Dear All,

No news, good or bad on the official medical front, but other than that, things haven’t been going so well, to be honest.

Somehow I seem to have lost my ability of playing “Super Mario” (quote from my doctor), and feel utterly depleted. Physically just as much as mentally. I seem to be crying days on end, being tripped of by no good reason and have by now lost an additional 10lbs (after the initial 10lbs after the craniotomy last May). I guess if you keep on scratching the bottom of an empty bucket, you eventually destroy the bucket! Anyhow, while some crying after 2 1/2 years of “keeping it together” might not be such a terrible thing, the weight loss concerns me quite a bit. This quarter Robert was mostly in LA and I was flying back and forth, but spending more time in New York. It will be a similar set-up next quarter. In between I had “caretaker” help flown in from Europe, but we can’t do that all the time and there were and will be times when I am alone in New York. I also get the sense that Robert is somewhat at the end of his rope himself, so even when he is around, I have to make sure that he isn’t the one hitting rockbottom next. So, I guess this is my cry for “local” help. Its been hard for me to keep up the shopping and cooking duties, which often results in me not eating at all in the end. Since food is one of the few things that I can do to at least attempt to keep all those nasty micro-metastases in check, “ordering in pizza” isn’t such a good idea in my case. Ugh, its hard to ask for help, but I guess what I am asking is if anyone might every once in a while have time to help out with shopping and some shared cooking activities.
In LA things are usually a bit easier, with the exception of me not being able to drive anymore. But my dear friends here all know that and have accommodated me in the past in such a wonderful way, that I will just take this opportunity to say “thanks.” We haven’t been able to do any cooking here either recently, but at least there are many good places to get relatively healthy cooked food, which Robert has been able to get for us.
Its sometimes so hard to explain how tired and exhausted I am, especially, since by definition, people only see me when I am doing relatively well.

Anyhow, I hope everyone on this list is doing well. Lucinha is loving California and is becoming bigger and “naughtier” by the day :)!

All best,
Shani/Beatriz

12 thoughts on “No sweet talk this time

  1. Oh Beatriz! You don’t know how I wish Pittsburgh and New York were closer together. I would love to come over and make you Kale and Quinoa and Salmon. Or some such yummy treat. My thoughts and heart are with you and I am sending you “Reiki” energy….

  2. Can I send a proxy? My friend’s mum lives not too far away in the East Village and she is a glorious cook and also a farmers market fiend. Would you like it if she dropped off food? Prepared or just some raw ingredients?

    • ugh, thats seems like a bit much! Mum’s have enough to do make sure their own pups eh kids are doing well! thats really sweet though, thanks for offering!

  3. B – it is very reasonable for you to cry and to cry for help. I’m not a great cook but pretty good at shopping, taking instruction in the kitchen and walking a dog. Could I come visit and help out either in NYC or LA? When are you in which place? Let me know how/when to help. Many, many, many hugs.

    xoxoxoxox
    s

  4. Shani i feel it with you… and i’m so far away. It’s very good that you ask for help. I wish i was there. Will write more later, but sending love now.

  5. Shani, I wish I was there to spend time with you! I’d bring you some broccoli sprouts I know would be good for you! I’ll have to check if there is something equivalent to Interflora for sprouts…;) Love,
    Minna

  6. May be I should just retire and move up there and cook. It’s a real pain in the behind that everyone is living hundreds to 6000 miles plus apart.
    What a pain. I thing the retirees should come to the aid of the

    Let’s cry together, there is a lot of crying going on at every corner in the world. May be we should just skype together and have a cry-blog-athon.

    Give me a message when you are back in NY. How is Lucy (Struppi) doing? Such a cute dog.

    You know what is good to cook and easy? Kochbananen, Plantain. They must turn yellow and then you can cook or fry them. With a little spicy peanut sauce. Crushed tomatoes, onion, hot pepper, some chicken broth seasoning put some peanut butter in it.and then just letting it cook in oil and juice. Pour over the cooked or fried plantain and you have some
    healthy filling stuff.

    Big hug. Love you much.

  7. b
    sending lots of love your way. call or let me know if you want to chat. i am really looking forward to seeing you in March. hope i get to meet your puppy too!
    hugs,
    nataile

  8. shani, i’m so so glad to hear you are reaching out for help. it’s taken me a while to respond as i’ve been traveling in canada, and i fell down a flight of stairs and broke my foot, etc., etc. etc.

    i am in neither of your locations…. but if i do make any kind of trip to nyc or LA you can count on me.

    This is a great great idea and a great gift for us, your friends. much love and xoxoox, praba

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